SHADOWS OF SILENCE: UNDERSTANDING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE, SILENCE, AND WOMEN’S DIGNITY IN MARRIAGE

Abstract

Marriage is often described as a substance of love, companionship, and security, yet for many women it becomes a space of humiliation, abuse, and prolonged psychological suffering. In Pakistan, patriarchal structures and cultural orders of Sabar (patience) and “adjustment” worsen women’s vulnerability by discouraging expose and constrictive access to support. This phenomenological study examined the lived experiences of married women aged 25–50 years who reported continuing marital distress. Using purposive sampling, 10 participants (five married ≤10 years, five ≥10 years) took part in semi-structured interviews conducted in Urdu. Reflexive thematic analysis generated six superordinate themes: (1) Silence as Survival, (2) Endurance of Abuse, (3) Cultural and Familial Expectations, (4) Psychological Consequences, (5) Coping and Survival Strategies, and (6) Cycles of Entrapment and Hope. Women’s narratives revealed experiences of physical, emotional, and sexual intimidation, often controlled through family honor treatises such as Apna ghar basao (“make your marriage work”) and constrained by limited biological support. Participants described symptoms of depression, anxiety, somatic complaints, and diminished sense of self, while relying on faith, emotional detachment, and sacrifice for children as means of survival. A recurring cycle of violence, apology, and temporary reconciliation generated both despair and fragile hope, keeping women secured to harmful relationships. These findings underscore the intersection of abuse, silence, and cultural duty, and feature the urgent need for culturally sensitive counseling, stronger legal defenses, and community-based interventions to challenge standardized endurance and uphold women’s dignity.

Keywords: Silence, Marital Suffering, Survival Strategies, Women’s Mental Health, Reflexive Thematic Analysis.